Working at a restaurant, I have dealt with countless bad moods from customers, fellow employees, and managers. As someone who is sensitive to how people around me are feeling, it can be easy for me to take on other people’s negative emotions.
While I may not be terrific at every aspect of my job, one thing I truly excel at is positivity. As a server, I have had to handle crises, deal with rude customers, serve the same table for 2 hours and not even receive a tip, and much, much more. However, I receive daily compliments on my attitude. Just two days ago I had two separate tables tell me, “You have the perfect personality for what you are doing. Your attitude will take you far in life.”
They both said the exact same thing!
Those were huge compliments to me, and I realized that I have armed myself with a mentality that repels negativity from my life, and I am able to maintain a positive mindset even if I have been working for 12 hours straight and dealing with rude customers.
Long story short, here are some of my thoughts on maintaining positivity:
- Feel your true emotions – they’re there for a reason. Let yourself feel all the feelings. It may be hard, but it’s healthy for you. If you bottle up your problems, they will explode at the worst times.
- Once you have felt the bad feelings, acknowledge, then push away the unhappy thoughts. Create and use a filter system. Don’t bury the bad deep inside you, just choose to acknowledge it and let it go.
- Focus on the good things. You can truly choose to ignore the bad things if there is nothing you can do to fix them. If you know you can’t solve a problem, move on. Dwelling on it is counterproductive and terrible for your happiness.
- I have learned to shift my mood from negative to positive. If I think negative thoughts, I attract more negative thoughts. But if I choose to think positive thoughts, my entire day turns around for the better. This change is truly a simple choice.
- Be grateful for everything that you have, which trust me, is more than you think.
- Flexibility – you have to be able to roll with the punches and play along with life sometimes. Be ready to have to adjust.
- Structure – keep discipline in your life so that you have a path you can stick to when all else fails
- Smile often – a smile is a gift you simultaneously give to yourself and others
- Live in the moment, focus on the present. The present is a present.
- If the present moment sucks, look forward to the future, or reminisce in wonderful past memories
- If someone treats you poorly, 9 times out of 10 it has NOTHING to do with you, and EVERYTHING to do with them, their bad moods, and their stress. So rest assured that their words aren’t even meant for you, it’s just a release of pressure in your direction.
- If anyone lashes out at you, step back to ask yourself why they did this. → Just recently in one of the organizations I am involved in, I voiced an opinion about something I thought needed to be changed, and the director blew up at me. I realized that she blew up not because of my comment, but because she was feeling like her hard work wasn’t being appreciated. So instead of getting defensive, lashing out back at her and indulging in her negativity, I took the time to reach out to her and tell her how much I appreciated all that she had done for the group, while still standing my ground and not backing down on my original opinion. This was an amazing way to diffuse the situation and resume positivity.
I can confidently say that happiness is my greatest asset and skill, even if it can’t officially be quantified or measured. Developing happiness in your life is all about the perspective you approach things with. Life can suck, and not everyone is wired to look for the good in things, but I genuinely hope from the bottom of my heart that maybe these words could change at least the smallest part in each of your mentalities to help improve your quality of life.
Thank you so much for reading. xo