Happiness, Lifestyle

Become More Attractive By Having Standards ~ Real Text Examples

3 Examples from my own life

Telling a guy I didn’t want to have a casual relationship

This guy was interested in me, and said he was down for “whatever I was willing to give.” I wanted to make it clear that I wasn’t interested in a casual relationship, and that I wouldn’t have the time to do anything serious since I would only be in town for 3 months. He responded really positively, and said that my honesty made me more attractive!

Screen Shot 2017-06-09 at 11.25.22 PM.png


Telling a guy I just wanted to be friends

I was really nervous to friendzone this guy. I had hung out with him a couple of times but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to move forward into dating him, but I knew he was a great guy who I wanted to have in my life. I was originally going to just not respond to him.. ever.. immature I know. My friend stepped in immediately and taught me that I owed him a response. That I could set the boundaries kindly without ignoring him, and however he responded would show me what kind of a man he was. Lucky for me he was so sweet about it, and now he and I continue to have a great friendship!

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Telling a guy I didn’t want to be involved until another girl was out of the picture

This boy is someone I am interested in, but I learned that he was still somewhat involved with a girl that I work with. Originally, he had told me that he wasn’t interested in her because she was a little “crazy.” I was caught off guard when she told me they were still interacting. I texted him in a fun and flirty way to say that I didn’t want anything to start between us until he had worked things out with the other girl. He responded so well, and I am thrilled that I could set my standard and have him learn how to respect it.

Update: He ended things with my coworker and we are all set to go on a date later tonight! 🙂



Standards make people attractive. They teach people how to have respect for you and to take you seriously. They show that you have respect for yourself. I could say much more about this topic because I feel strongly about it, but I figured my real life experiences would be more interesting than my mini-philosophies.

Let me know what you think of these interactions! How do you like to show your standards in work or relationships? Thank you so much for reading!





19 thoughts on “Become More Attractive By Having Standards ~ Real Text Examples”

  1. I don’t think these are necessarily examples of setting standards.
    It’s showing that there was some degree of courage to be honest, but it doesn’t come from a place of confidence.
    You seem worried about them getting upset which you wouldn’t be so focused on if you had confidence and knew your self worth.
    The last example shows a guy who has clearly lied about his involvement with another woman and you’ve just accepted his explanation and are willing to go on a date with him.
    Realise that if he’s done this to her, he’ll do it to you.
    If you’re looking for a serious relationship look for a man who acts like he is too.


  2. The responses here are great. I admire how you delivered all your messages respectful, straightforward and still playful. You also clearly attract good men in your life; as they all responded maturely. I totally agree that setting standards for yourself makes you more attractive. At the same time, it can be kind of difficult because in today’s world so many people don’t set standards so men are used to getting their way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your sweet comment! I completely agree with you, a lot of men aren’t used to being held to a certain level by any woman except their mother. That’s kind of what inspired me– when guys are around their moms or grandparents they’re so respectful and sweet and kind, so I want to be able to draw that side out of them so they can treat me at such a level!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The desire, which are given by the nature or something beyond us, sometimes are hard to be denied or swept. Boys are quite different from girls in many ways, both physiologically and psychologically. Actions define us, and what we believe define what we will act and how we will act, but it can not define us directly. No matter girls or boys, they both should know themselves, the body and the inner, the bad and the good, find what they believe to guide the desire. We may not be able to change our nature, but we can choose how to deliver them and we’d better to find a beautiful way, not just for ourselves, but also for the one we love and the one who love us. Opinions from a Chinese boy.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You are welcome. Your share is brave and cool. You have a good start to stand for what you believe, not just let the desire make the decision. You can stay cool. But when love comes, you may need to learn how to give in. Stay cool from desire, give in when true love comes. Wish you all the best.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. This is awesome! I’ve had to have conversations like this a couple times with guys I’ve talked to over the years, but none of them have ever responded as well as they did to you. I’m a firm believer that ‘like attracts like’ and you handling it in a mature way brings about a mature response. Well done, and way to respect yourself! #GirlPower

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s good you’ve gotten such good reactions for setting your standards and telling people exactly what you want–and don’t want.

    I’ve had nothing but bad reactions when I would tell men what I wanted, (before I got into my current relationship which is happy and long term, thankfully). I would tell guys that I wanted to do some casual dating and date a few people at a time in a casual way and no man that I told that wanted to do that! Although I’m sure they’d be open to doing it themselves, they just didn’t want me to do it! But that just showed me what kind of people they were, and it wasn’t my loss!

    At the time I was like going on 20 years old, and at that age, we should be open and able to freely date in a casual way. Now I’m going on 23 and I’d still think the same thing if I were single! Also, no Netflix and Chill dates! lol i can’t do those, I’m not 15! heehee But anyways, thanks for sharing your thoughts and real life examples! That’s really cool of you! 🙂

    -Helene ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I think certain men don’t like to “share,” even if they’re willing to date casually themselves. I think everyone just likes to feel special and feel like they are the only one being focused on, but that’s not always realistic. I’m glad you’re in such a happy relationship now! You never lose by stating what you want.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. It took me a REALLY long time to learn to set standards for myself! And the weird thing is, once I started defining what I want, my relationships became SO much healthier. Thank you for the reminder because I need it sometimes 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s amazing because you can get what you want without compromising your values. You stay true to yourself AND gain more respect from people as long as you approach others kindly. Thanks so much for reading this post 🙂


    1. It’s interesting that you say that! I too was surprised by how calmly my texts were received and how kind the gentlemen were in these examples. That’s why I made this post–to show people that you don’t need to have drama, and that you can have adult conversations that go smoothly, without losing character in the process.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I disagree. These guys changing who they are and compromising what they want to please you will only lead to resentment and a win/lose relationship. This is nothing new, I’ve had several girls unsuccessfully attempt to turn me into a version of their own spineless fathers. Guys living to please their women leads to feminine men. I hope this trend reverses before we’re all sexually neutral.


      2. Idk, I’d say they’re not changing who they are to please me, they’re just acknowledging that they understand what I’m looking for in a sweet and mature way! They really weren’t trying to please me in any of these situations, they were just sweet and understanding, which is everything I could have hoped for! I’m quite happy about it!


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